Face palm. Again and again and again.
Hindsight makes you feel pretty stupid doesn’t it?
Facebook memories showed me a picture of myself from about 6 years ago today. A time and place I clearly remember – but the image kind of shocked me.
I looked FIT AS FUCK. Like instagram fit. Hashtag humble brag type fit.
Except I couldn’t see that then.
When I looked at my reflection I saw a fraud. I owned gyms but ate Cadbury in my car every day. I didn’t count calories. I understood macros but couldn’t care less for them. I never counted my steps or measured my body fat. I didn’t even know how much I weighed because the scales didn’t feature in my personal measurement of success.
I THOUGHT THAT THESE THINGS MEANT I WOULDN’T BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY IN THE FITNESS INDUSTRY. I kept all of this to myself. I didn’t say much at all because I thought Id be pressured to conform and fall into line with what other ‘professionals’ were doing.
The people I surrounded myself with at the time were role model coaches (or so I thought!) Looking back I would best describe them as obsessive, calculated, precise. So by comparison – I felt like a fraud.
What I can see now – clearly, is that while people around me were busying themselves with rigid, oppressive structure, I had built a lifestyle approach that worked for me. It was flexible, fluid and fucking fun if Im honest. I trained the way I wanted to. I ate whatever I felt like. That’s not to say I wasn’t conscious about what I ate, or the way I trained. I have always been smart about the way I use nutrition and training to cultivate the energy I want to live what I consider to be my best life.
The irony is, the rules and restrictions so many people around me were loyal to – have now been mostly disproved. My approach might have been airy fairy – but in reality, so was theirs.
The lesson? Our own experiences, our own voice, our own way of being – they are all valid.
Comparison is the thief of joy. We know that to be true. I will never again let myself feel ‘less than’ just because I take a different approach to the majority. Im still fit as fuck. A working mum. A devoted partner. An ambitious magic manifester.
I know that there are so many people that will benefit from my words giving them permission to just relax a little. That the journey to fit, strong, healthy doesn’t have to be rigid, disciplined and restrictive. It shouldn’t be sucking the life out of you. There is another way, another approach. I am a living, breathing example of what is possible when you are in alignment with what truly matters to you. It will take work to step into the greatest version of yourself – but the way in which you work on yourself should be up to you. In an industry that celebrates people when they are over zealous and over achieving – I want to embrace those that feel overwhelmed and show them another way to move forward.
It isn’t too late for me to start sharing my philosophies around nutrition, training, self awareness and devotion to conscious living.
What makes me even more powerful now is that I don’t need to be right, Im not out to prove or disprove anything or anyone. I just need to know what works for me. I wont be sharing anything with the intention of converting anyone to subscribe to my way of thinking or being. I will only be sharing in the hope that it might assist someone in solidifying their own sense of self.
What are you holding on to? What magic is within you? We all have something to share. If you weren’t holding back, fearful of judgements or critiques – what would you want the world to know? I urge you to not hold back. Let this be the sign you were looking for. Go and spread your magic with the world. It doesn’t require anything more than for you to show up as your unfiltered, unedited, unapologetic self.