Food for me has become all about distraction and fulfilling desires right now.
This year has been a punch in the guts. The things that I wanted to achieve have been sidelined.
At the end of last year I excitedly booked tickets for us to attend a 3 day Tony Robbins event in September, 2020. A huge investment. Tickets, travel costs, the cost of staff replacing Steve at the gym, the income he would forfeit not being at the gym for 3 days is staggering. It’s not just a couple of hundred dollars.
The consistent growth within our business & the life we have created for ourselves – is not a coincidence. In my life I have literally spent tens of thousands of dollars on personal development & business summits.
I’m ready for more. 2020 was going to be the year that I gave myself permission to bring the vision that I hold for myself in business to life.
In booking those tickets and investing the time and money it was going to take to be in that room – I was pushing myself to be ready. The three day event set for September was there as both my carrot and my stick in business this year. I didn’t want to go into this immersive event without clarity, focus and purpose. I believed I would spend the first half of the year building and that come September, the Tony Robbins event would launch me into the next phase and generate the energy we needed to finish the year strong.
My year was mapped out. My intentions were aligned to my goals and I had concrete, actionable steps to follow.
Friends – I bet your plans have been sideswiped by a global pandemic too.
Rather than allowing myself to generate growth, I have spent the majority of this year holding down what we already have. Fiercely protecting the way in which we provide for our family. Fighting fear and uncertainty with resilience and creativity. It’s taken all of me.
I won’t be going anywhere this year. Living in Victoria quite literally means I am staying right here. My willingness to be pushed forward by the wonderful leadership of Tony Robbins will not be happening.
It would be easy to just forget all that I had envisioned for myself this year. I have more than a handful of excuses to justify my inaction.
But here’s the thing – I have come to understand that the most challenging times in my life have always been my biggest opportunity for growth.
When the path I was walking turned out to be a dead end, there was always a detour waiting for me.
I have learned that insisting on finding a way forward, when there is clearly a dead end in sight is a pointless, soul destroying waste of time.
My growth can be seen in the way I simply readjust my internal gps and find another way forward. I no longer let my stomach twist in knots asking why. I don’t shame myself for not turning sooner.
Here’s what I do instead:
Choose a new way forward. Bring clarity to how I can take a new approach and still fulfil the deep desires I have for the life I am building.
Call forward all the resistance I have around taking a new approach. I make a long list of all the fears and doubts and anticipated disappointment I have.
“I have wasted time and now I’m behind. I don’t have all the resources I need. I’m going to waste money on this. I don’t know if I can do this now”
All of it.
Then I look at it objectively and look for the truth in it all. I analyse it for factual information. To be honest, in my long list of things that were flooding my brain and making me feel overwhelmed – there wasn’t much there that was true.
Anything that’s was true, had a solution. For example, ‘I don’t have all the resources I need’ – that was true. Could I find them? Of course.
The dark is a scary place because it holds the unknown. Shining a light on our doubts and insecurities takes their power away.
I then make a list of all the new opportunities that could arise by taking this new approach. I visioncast again. I write a compelling future for myself based on this new direction that is so powerful, so exciting and so inspiring that I actually believe that THIS is what was always intended.
In doing this just two days ago, I found myself sitting in the afternoon sun, on the grass in my front yard, watching my son pull weeds from our garden (and excitedly exclaim that he had found green flowers). As I finished furiously typing away on my iPhone, I started laughing to myself.
In not getting to fly to a 3 day event, in not getting to rely on mentorship and the collective energy of thousands of people around me to fuel my entrepreneurial ambitions – this year,I now have no choice but to be my own guru. To hype myself up. To stop looking for ways to outsource my confidence and really double down on everything I was already capable of.
I laughed to myself in realising this because this has been the same lesson that has been presenting itself to me for the last 5 years.
When I try and include others in the goals that I feel have come from deep within my soul, inevitably it slows me down.
It would seem the universe is trying to show me that the only way to build the life I want – is to stop subconsciously slowing myself down with roadblocks and go full steam ahead.
So, now, I am overwhelmed with gratitude that I have been quite literally forced to stay put. To find ways to build the life I want around me.
The truth is – there is nothing more important to me than being able to be home, fully present and available to my son and husband. So, it would seem, anything I build needs to be done right here, right now. Anything that takes me away from home right now would be moving me away from my true vision anyway.
I am grateful that 2020 slowed me down. I am grateful that I won’t be immersing myself amongst thousands of people that may not value home life in the same way that I do. I am grateful that I am given no choice but to scale at a rate that I can personally manage right now.
So as I begin again, confidently pursuing the goals I have set for myself in business, I start with me. With food. The time I take to nourish myself. If I’m moving so quickly through the day that I don’t have time to consider what I am feeding my body – my mind and my spirit will probably suffer too.
There is no point building businesses if you are depleting yourself in the process.
Nutrition is a marker I use to check in on myself. Am I conscious? Am I being kind to myself? Am I making myself a priority? Am I setting myself up for long term success? Am I treating myself like I matter most?
I haven’t been.
The current circumstances of the world has us all pulled in many directions. I’ve allowed myself to be pulled away from conscious choices when it comes to food. I grab whats quick and easy. I eat standing over my sink or balancing my laptop in my lap.
So, I am bringing attention to my nutrition. I am going to plan in advance. I’ll be choosing foods I love. Foods that are good for me. Foods that support me in maintaining and managing energy.
I will be tracking my food for a few months to keep me accountable to slowing down and making conscious, loving choices. To be able to monitor and track what I eat and how it makes me feel. Tracking my food will let me honestly analyse the split between protein, carbs and fat and ensure I am not simply eating, but nourishing and supporting my body.
Feeling good, being happy, it starts from within.
I’ll be asking myself every day – am I happy today?
Ultimately that’s the goal.
To be happy, today. And tomorrow. And the day after that. To wake up in the belief that today will be the very best day of my life – and tomorrow will be even better, because I will make it so.
When I am smiling in the pursuit of all that I believe is ahead of me – there is no end in sight.
Look for the detour. Turn around & believe again.